Core belief vs. your why
It’s critical to examine our core beliefs before we can hope to fully buy into succeeding at our next dream. We are usually nudged into action by the big WHY we want to do, have, or be something different. Whenever we start something new, be it a diet, launching a new career, retiring, etc., it will create fear on some level. If you haven’t done it yet, there’s no proof you can do it. Our desire to succeed is directly tied to our core beliefs about ourselves.
Our basic belief system about ourselves, other people, and the world we live in is established for the most part in our childhood. It holds the power to our life.
It is super important to be clear about the real reason you want to effect a major change in your life. It’s the WHY but is it enough all by itself to support you through the struggles you will surely encounter along the way. I personally believe our WHY will not be enough to sustain those obstacles we encounter with every new endeavor. If the core level of who we believe we are doesn’t feel worthy, lovable, or good enough then we are starting with a lack of believing we can do this thing.
For example, you want to lose weight. Your WHY is your poor health. You start another diet. Throw out all your favorite “bad for you foods,” and then after a few days real life gets in the way. Stress at work, Sleepless night, exhaustion and a headache. I call that the “something happens.” those obstacles start appearing.
When those “something happens” occur, your mind will open the basement door and consult with that core belief that is there to keep you safe and defend you against the world. You put it there, your mind is simply delivering what you told it. It’s the messages you made those words mean that are going to self-sabotage your desire to lose weight.
We hold those beliefs to be absolute truths deep down, underneath all our “surface” thoughts. Those core beliefs determine how we perceive and interpret the world.
When you are triggered, (think stressful situations) it’s not just the question of why something is triggering us, it is critical to examine “what does this feel like right now?” Everything we do is because of how we think we will feel. It gets messy trying to reach into our original thoughts about ourselves and allow our scary, fearful feelings to surface. No, we are definitely conditioned to run from our painful feelings and dive right into our comforting food in order to feel instant pleasure.
It’s a vicious cycle, we repeat over and over because we are not in touch with our core beliefs on a conscious level.
Here’s a visual. As a child something happened that feels scary or hurtful. In order to cope you sought something pleasurable. FOOD, lots of yummy addictive sugar laden food. It distracts you and makes you feel temporarily good. You don’t want to feel bad, so you run from those feelings every time something stressful pops up and feed your face more and more fattening foods.
Here you are today, very much conditioned to seek pleasure over pain by habitually hungry and desiring more food. You are out of balance, addicted to sugar and overweight.
The core belief system you created long ago has been fortified over and over. Your belief is buried in your subconscious and working for you on autopilot. Every time life gets too stressful, you can just avoid the pain in the moment by eating your favorite feel good foods. You have lots of proof to back up that belief. You’ve been doing it for years. It’s habitual and a very comfortable to be uncomfortably overweight behavior.
Until you get to the root cause, the core belief structure set up and running your life, you will continue to re-run your same story.
Be willing to open the basement door to you mind, and recognize you are totally worthy, lovable, and enough just as you are.
Your Midlife and beyond Certified Life Coach
Show up * Think Different * Kick Ass * Be All In
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