Most of our daily routine has been formed by old conditioned beliefs that become our habits.  We seldom question their current usefulness or even if they were ever true.  When was the last time you questioned yourself?”  Things happen, we create thought patterns (story’s)  we repeat over and over to ourselves.  The brain stores those beliefs as strong neural pathways that are designed to resist change.  It keeps the body functioning in an orderly manner.

As humans, we control what we mentally and physically feed our bodies and brain.  We provide all the fuel.

Think of it this way. When your daily routine runs smoothly, you have energy and feel good.  Have a bad day full of chaos and negativity our brain wants to resist that pain. We desire to run from the pain and seek pleasure. Do it often enough and it becomes a habit we use to cope.  It often shows up as overeating, over-drinking, or clutter designed to hide our habitual chaotic lifestyle.

The fact that we have free will and choice means we do have the ability to change. So, what’s the problem?  Why is it so difficult to effectively change those neural pathways? To start with we have left our brain unattended. It’s running on the fuel of old comfortable habits we supplied it a long time ago.

Feeding ourselves a repetitive diet of ignoring or running from those painful feelings and situations creates a thought habit.  You want to believe at the moment it solves the problem if you seek such things as food or drink to soothe and enjoy instead of solving the problem. You attempt to escape.  That sets us up for cyclical behavior.   The problem doesn’t go away, you are just running from it.

You wake up one day and YOU, the talking, thinking part of you says, “I’m ready to change.”  No way is your brain or body interested in signing up for that.  You just consciously engaged in momentary excitement and at the same time flooded your brain with a boatload full of fear feelings just waiting for you to experience some negativity.  Watch out, your brain is in full sabotage mode.  Cravings, insecurities, not good enough, it will all start to ooze out.

Here’s a fact. Our fear feelings (we have a full list of them) that we don’t know how to manage, stop us from allowing ourselves to feel uncomfortable while we practice a new habit. Feeling out of control causes the brain to resist.

Stuck habits keep you the same. To BE different then you have to THINK different. Better, more useful thoughts create positive feelings.   Your feelings drive everything in your life. Look around, your life today is a result of your feelings.

The main reason we don’t succeed with new, improved or different habits is that we are unaware that we have the ability to create new ways of thinking.  We can’t just say we want to go on a diet and lose weight and succeed at keeping the weight off forever.    Our brain is stubborn, set on cruise control, driving down the highway of old conditioned behaviors.  It resists being uncomfortable, anything different opens up our feelings of fear.  That’s scary shaky ground and automatically ignites the fight or flight response in our brain.

We unconsciously function routinely and effortlessly with what we habitually feed our brains.  Try changing that routine and our brain is compelled to provide proof from our memory bank that this change is hard and sends signals you haven’t been able to do this successfully in the past, so you are going to fail.  That’s a danger signal the brain ignites producing the fight, flight or freeze behavior automatically.

Our lives are 50/50 filled with circumstances, other people, places and things we have no control over. We spend a massive amount of energy trying to control the uncontrollable.  We often label these things as good/bad, right/wrong, happy/sad, positive/negative, and/or possible/impossible.  Our brain’s neuropathways are also subject to 50/50.  Safe/unsafe and efficient/challenged.  We think we want our life to be 100% good, right, happy, and positive.  Our brain wants to be 100% safe and efficient.  Neither one of those things is even possible all the time.  That is perfection.  Do you know anyone that is even close to perfect all the time?

We create a story about our life.  Be really clear, all stories are made up. they are not fact; they are what we chose to think about a fact.  We tell it over and over until it’s a hardwired habit in our memory bank.  Our brain doesn’t have the capacity to think.  It’s like a computer storing our choice of thoughts.   I wish our brain could autocorrect like the computer.  We CAN manually correct whatever we have put in our brains. Otherwise, you could never change your mind.  I happen to know for a fact that women specialize in changing their minds when they want to!

Have you ever believed you couldn’t do something, then you did it?  Maybe it was hard in the beginning.  You had doubts, stumbled, maybe even failed a few times, but you finally did it.  Did you stand up and walk immediately as an infant, learn to drive a car with no effort, or raise children without first experiencing difficulty. Change is not easy.  You have to want it more than you want to stay the same.

Your body has an infinite capacity for change and renewal.  It reflects the state of your core beliefs. Very few people want to change their reality. Your ability to change your core beliefs resides in your state of awareness.  When you raise your awareness, you open yourself to unlimited opportunities.  Changing your reality automatically transforms your life.

When your core beliefs are life-enhancing, they look like the following:

• I am loving and lovable
• I am worthy
• I am safe and trusting
• I am fulfilled and whole

These should be your normal everyday core beliefs. Every single one of us was born completely lovable and worthy. You never need to seek to be loved. You are love. Let go of the habit of judging yourself as lacking love or worthy.  It never left you.  No one has the ability to take it from you. You will see it, trust it, and feel it safely held inside yourself when you choose to believe it.  And that’s a fact.

Your Midlife & Beyond Certified Life Coach

Show Up * Think Different * Kick Ass * Be All In