Your Story – Do you love it?
HQQ- High quality questions. I love to challenge my own thoughts and beliefs. It’s really the best way I have found to get below the surface of habitual behavior. We develop most of our core beliefs when we were children. We had very little logic or reasoning skills to draw from. What kept us feeling safe at the time, no longer applies. But there you have it, we do run our lives for the most part without ever questioning if that belief has any validity today. We don’t even stop and ask ourselves, “how is it serving me to think this?”
Here’s a hypothetical story. Let’s pretend you woke up one morning living in a new place, and there is no husband, kids, debt, or problems. You’ve let go of all past hurts and wounds and negative stories about the past. Your new life is completely focused on your future with unlimited possibilities.
In this pretend story, you are living fully present. You are not bringing any limiting past experiences with you on this journey. You are feeling excited and 100% all in.
Ok, so here is the point to my make believe story. EVERYONE has a story they tell about their past experiences. Not only do we tell the stories, but we all to often limit our future possibilities by shading our dreams with those fear based made up stories we now believe are true. They are not real. The only thing that is real is what happened. What we tell about it is our opinion. Stories are not facts. Stories are an account of something that has happened. Look it up in the dictionary if you don’t believe me.
Your story is real to you simply because you believe it is. It is your reality but that doesn’t make it true or false/right or wrong. It is just a story about what you think has happened.
What you are thinking right now is a current thought. It doesn’t live in the past or the future. However, most of our thoughts are not original. They are re-runs from old stories. We make almost all of our current decisions about what we will or won’t do, be, or have, based on how we think we are going to feel. And how we feel is most likely triggered by past stories about what happened.
Since we make up every story, and we live 95% of the time from those originally created in our childhood, wouldn’t it seem like a good idea to ask ourselves a few high quality questions? Especially if those stories are creating negative or limiting results.
What are HQQ’s? I believe they allow us to step out of the emotion of the moment and observe from a place of curiosity rather than judgment.
Here’s some of my favorites.
- How is this thought serving me?
- What do I really want?
- What new thought am I willing to consider?
Go back and look at my hypothetical story. When we decide anything based on our past history, we are limited by that perception of the experience. It doesn’t allow for the unlimited yet to be discovered possibilities, those dreams for our future.
A desire to fulfill a dream, means you haven’t accomplished it yet. You have no past experience about it. If you did, it would no longer be a dream, because you would have it. So why do we let our past so called failures, and fearful feelings guide our dreams.
Whatever has happened is over. Let it go if it doesn’t serve your purpose anymore. Focus on the future possibilities. You can’t live in the past, but you can absolutely live in your story about it. What kind of story are you telling yourself and is it limiting your future possibilities?
Your Midlife and Beyond Certified Life Coach
Show up * Kick Ass * Be All In